i saw the goddess in the clouds
and as she drifted by
i watched a flame rise from her belly
there was no need to question why
then near her feet a tiger lay
so obvious and clear
i smiled to see my totem
reminding me he's near
for just awhile i found peace
in the vision i received
so grateful for the message
and what time i didn't grieve
...to show you how it could be,
what might be.
but perhaps i am living in an illusion.
i hope that's all it is.
if not we will both lose.
i would like the opportunity
to be happy in love,
to not just love
but to remain in love,
to nurture the desire we share.
the two of us could do that.
i know this.
but you have to want this
as much as i do.
you say you want more,
you want your freedom.
you could have that
and still have me.
i do not need you
to insure me
or feed me
or house me
or take care of me.
i simply want you to be free enough
to make a little room for me.
it rained so i did not lay naked on the ground. instead i stood in the dark, the moon hidden by the clouds, bearing my nakedness and my soul to the elements. tears came and i begged All That Is for peace and hope and healing. i closed my eyes and imagined the moon, invoking the goddess, and as she appeared i raised my arms to bathe in her light and breathe her into me, humbled by her presence and by all that surrounds in nature. the planets, the elements have existed for millennia. our lives here are so small and temporary. the meaning anything in our lives has is that which we give it. if there is greater meaning, it is a mystery to us and has always been.
i want...
to cuddle naked
bodies touching
heat rising
lips meeting
hands reaching
bodies melding
i want...
to feel your desire growing
tangible
in my hand
against my skin
against my lips
i want...
to feel your fingers
explore my body
touching
teasing
penetrating me
i want...
your words of worship
that flow effortlessly
from your mouth
like honey
and fire
i want
i want
i want
i can sometimes feel it
a tiny pulse within a pulse
like that flash you catch in the corner of your eye
that you're not sure you really saw
i have to believe in it
i have to trust my choice
(at least i had the courage to make one)
when there's no one or nothing else i can trust
and even then i question
i have been drowning
in the muck and mire
of indecision
hearing only what i want to hear
believing only what i want to be true
i have fallen prey to words and touch
to wishes and dreams
to others needs and my own
i have given all and accepted less
trying to convince myself it was enough
it is time to come home to myself again
to let go of fairy tale dreams
and ground myself in what is
instead of what isn't
to recognize that all i have is me
and no matter how much more i want
no matter how much i have to give
somehow i must be enough
for me
so i dry my tears
hold my hands over my heart
and tell myself hope lives here
maybe one day
i will believe
i have a date with the moon tonight
and a promise to show up as my true self,
to bathe naked in her light.
i will wear only moonstone as a bridge
between the moon and me
and hematite to ground me in the truth.
i will allow her light to permeate my dark places
and all the fragmented pieces of myself
so i may become a more compassionate friend to myself
to end pisces cycle of old beliefs and limitations
and heal wounds both old and recent.
i will petition mother moon
to help me to no longer condemn my feelings and sensitivities
but instead hold them close to bless them
and thank them for their medicine
so i am able to release them and begin fresh.
it happened
i didn't mean for it to happen
everything fell in on me
my thoughts scared me
badly
i thought i was strong
but now i know
i am broken
the end
give me something real
a real love
a real person
a real life
a real country
a real reason to care
or carry this load
because i am tired
of all the bullshit
and the illusion
we call life
or love
or freedom.
like john lennon said,
just gimme some truth.
is life meant to be lived in apathy?
i see it every day in people,
but it's not me...IT'S NOT ME!
bring me to life!
i will never be the kind of woman who keeps her mouth shut and let's her fears or her unsaid words eat a whole in her gut. i will ask hard questions and address issues and get to the root of things.
i'm the kind of woman who will expose herself heart and soul and push you to know yourself and do the same. i want to be real, i am real, and i want that for you as well because real is the only way to be. i don't want fluff and courtesy, i want truth and trust, genuine decency and compassion that flows from the soul. i want us to burn away the bullshit and be as real as real can be.
i am a woman who knows what she wants and know that i do not want a mindless kind of love that is so often witnessed in other couples. i won't settle for lukewarm. you will feel my love and know my passion. but i am not all fire and passion. there is a side of me that is soft, nurturing and sensitive that wants to wrap her love around you like a soft quilt and warm you inside like a cup of hot cocoa. and in all things i can give as good as i get, perhaps more.
i am like the earth, rock solid and like her waters, flow with the tide. i am the woman who will be there, who will stand in the fire with you, dance with you in the eye of the hurricane and fight tooth and nail alongside you and for you, and i will take you places you might never have been.
i may be difficult and irritating at times, like a pebble in your shoe, but when i say i'm sorry i will mean it and through it all you will know love.
it was almost more than she could bear yet he kept on, kissing her, making love to her, his hunger and her desire not knowing an end.
he got lost in the act of loving, mesmerized in watching her respond and when he entered her it was because he knew she was ready...he had prepared her, tasting and touching every part of her, even the parts she hated. did he even know he was making love to her heart and mind as well?
sometimes her heart would become so full of the love and connection she would cry, finally knowing how it felt to be loved unconditionally and to harbor such great love for another. then he would hold her and tell her it was ok to feel her feelings.
