when i'm with you
your arms are always open
and your lips are always ready to meet
mine.
i never have to beg for attention
when i'm with you
it's safe to be me however I show up
i've put you through the test more than
once
and yet you hold space for me and never
run
sometimes
i'm convinced that you love me
so i cling to the hope of tomorrows
less empty of you
other times
my mind taunts my heart
telling me i'm just a gap filler
to let you experience what is lacking
do i ease the pain of your reality
so you can continue to exist in it
without having to face it
without having to choose what you want?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
sometimes I cry
because my heart is overflowing
with love and appreciation
for all you give
but sometimes I cry
because the pain of never being sure
of who or what I am to you
is too much to hold in
sometimes i wish
i had never allowed myself
to be vulnerable enough, hungry enough
to kiss your lips or submit to your
touch
sometimes i wish
you were still a ghost to me
someone i'd never met
so i would never know
what us feels like
(c)s.cooper
11-6-2019
