a depressing day other than the time i was stoned and bearing my breasts to the sun. it is 4/20/20 after all. so after getting a bit high i was contemplating whether there was any actual meaning to life. i was certainly feeling there wasn't. so here is what i wrote before i hit the vape another time or two and headed into the sun:
life seems to have very little point. we're born, we grow. some of us marry and raise families, some make careers. some do little. some do much. but in the end what does any of it matter? i mean seriously, does it matter if someone grows up to be a doctor to discover a cure for cancer or someone else grows up to be a homeless addict? sure we can say one person can make the world a better place and the other not so much and that's true to some degree. but again, what does it matter if all is finite?
if we were created by a god, to what purpose and what end? if we simply evolved, then it was just a process and we're here by chance. i can only come up with one answer to why, if we were created by a supreme being...so here's my (god based) theory...
god, being some sort of universal consciousness with awareness of self and the ability to create may have simply created life as an experiment. you see, if god were the only thing that existed prior to life as we know it, how would he/she know their self as god? or better yet, how could they experience their godhood without a somewhat intelligent or inquisitive creature to at least imagine or believe in their existence? through the creation of intelligent life, god not only could become aware of his/her godliness but could also experience his/her existence through that creation. basically we could just be god's experience of self or essentially god's entertainment. perhaps it was all just an experiemnt.
maybe god, provided he/she exists, is waiting to see if his/her creation will actually progress enough to prove his/her existence? if that actually happens, then what? game over? the real meaning of our lives ceases to exist. would we realize that life's meaning was never about us? that there never was a meaning to it for any of us, only for god?
are we god experiencing itself by living, by loving and by dying and everything else in between? maybe it's like joan osbourne sang...maybe god is one of us or more likely all of us.
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
