Dear Self,
I think you are brave even when you
don't feel as if you are. You get up every day and do what has to be
done. And even though you often think you're a failure that's not
true at all. I've seen your determination and strength when faced
with adversity, when life has knocked you for a loop. You always
stand up and fight, not just for survival, but for the best possible
outcome for yourself. Truth is, you've been a warrior countless
times. You know why you have that phoenix tattoo, right? It's
because you rise up out of the ashes every time life tries to destroy
you. Yeah that's right, you're a fucking warrior goddess.
You're smart enough to ask for help
when you need it but more times than not you take care of what needs
taken care of on your own. Why? Because you have a need to prove to
yourself you can. And by god you do.
You've cared for your drug addicted
mother and tolerated an alcoholic husband's physical and emotional
abuse and then helped him to get sober. When he died you chose to go
on living and allowed yourself to fall in love. You've suffered
through repeated bouts of depression since you were a teenager, but
finally learned to accept that part of yourself and understand that
when it comes it doesn't last forever. I've witnessed you weather
rejection from family members for making choices that were best for
you at the time. And in the end you were able to forgive and move
forward, harboring no ill will.
And now you've stood on your own for
over two years, making a life and starting over one more time after
suffering the most devastating loss you've known. If that ain't bad
ass I don't know what is. And how did you make it through? By
healing yourself and your grief through writing because you knew that
was a way to process your hopelessness, anger and pain. Smart, very
smart. You're not just a warrior or a bad ass, you my dear are a
fucking rock star. And you should feel like one, at least every now
and then.
I could tell you so much more, like how
you raised two extraordinary kids, but you won't ever take credit for
that even though you raised them on your own for the most part.
And there's this; you've been a rock
for most of the people in your life. It's just what you do because
you have strength and compassion. It's not in you to be any other
way.
I've watched you fight for justice and
stand up for the defenseless. I've seen you get involved in social,
environmental and political causes because you believe life should be
fair and everyone really is equal, that the planet is our
responsibility, and that it's everyone's personal responsibility,
especially those in positions of power who are supposed to represent
us, to help create positive change in the world. You stand up
fearlessly for what is right and fair.
So girl, when you get into that self
doubting mood, when you start to feel you're insignificant, or a
failure, or worthless, or unlovable, I hope you'll come back to this
letter as a reminder of just who you really are. I hope you realize
you are worthy of love, your are brave, you are smart, kind, loving
and real...about as real as they come.
Thanks for listening and now take it to
heart, ok?
Love, Me
