25 days

has it only been that long since we were in each others arms?  it seems like a lifetime ago and despite all that's taken place emotionally i still wonder if we'll ever see each other again or if this is really it.  i wonder if you're content with never.  you see, despite my efforts to move on there's a part of me that still clings to a tiny, tiny thread of hope, thinking that someday you'll text me or call me and say you can see me.   

you tell me you are tortured, seeing things and thinking of one person. is that working for you?  it's been 3 weeks and i wonder, have you made any progress at all?  do you still yearn for me like i yearn for you?  do you think you can give me up permanently?  

it's crazy, ya know?  we agree to distance, stop communication, yet here we are, posting on blogs, revealing our feelings.  feelings don't go away.  if our separation is what you choose and how it has to be, then maybe if i'm lucky those feelings of love, desire and hope will fade enough for some kind of peace to be found despite the regret.  i say all this and then i think, am i so blind that i can't see you've already said goodbye?  don't tell me you'll never let me go.  you already have to a great extent.  and if we're never to be together again, you must tell me and then let me go completely, just as i must so we can both move one.

just a silly thing, one i never mentioned.  you may have noticed the wishbone on my kitchen windowsill.  it has been there since last thanksgiving.  i saved it, meaning for the two of us to make a wish on before snapping it in two.  i simply forgot about it every time you were here.  now, every time i stand at the sink doing dishes and looking at it i wonder, will we ever make a wish together?  if you tell me no i will throw it away along with my wishes.