Thursday, September 24, 2020

this ain't no poker game

you hold onto her while holding onto me while i am torn between holding on and letting go.

why, if you love someone and they love you, do you have to work so hard to hold on and make it work?

that question isn't about us.

seems to me you're treading water, trying to grab hold of an imaginary shore. 

maybe it was real at one time, maybe it's not anymore.

are you trying to recreate the past or just too afraid to jump forward?

and me?  where do i come in?  as a backup plan?

like you said, you're subconsciously looking forward to being with me, so where is your heart?

are you getting what you want?  

don't you wonder if you're living in an illusion?

do you think you can forfeit passion for morality and be satisfied?

can you quell those feelings you hold for me, pretend you don't feel them. pretend that you love her and want a life with her while fantasizing about us?

do you even know what you want?  if so, please say it.  SAY IT!  i can take it! 

deny the truth all you want, but you have a choice to make.  you can't have us both so it's time to let one of us go.  you can never be fully present with her as long as you're thinking of me.  

do you want me while living with her?  if so, where is your love for her?  

do you feel guilty when you're with me?  if not, then where is the love for her?  

yes, you can hold love for both of us, but what do you want?  who do you want?  

you have to know that you will never have with her what you have with me.  it doesn't work that way.  if you're willing to settle, then settle and let me go.  

how long will you hold on, believing you're working toward a happier outcome?  

can you change who you are and what you want?  if so, more power to you.  if not, can you cash it in?  can you cash us in?  

you're playing a game of chance, hoping for the payout.  like kenny rogers sang, "you've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to talk away, know when to run".    if you can't, you better remove yourself from the game.  

i'm not your ace up the sleeve.




 



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