invitation to a lover

meet me fully

live your truth unapologetically 

grow with me

evolve with me

seek the unknown with me

can we not free ourselves

and dance into the magic and adventure?

friday lunchtime thoughts

from the vantage point of my kitchen table i can sit and see nothing but green maple leaves dancing in the breeze. from that same spot with windows open i can feel the warm waft of summer brush against my bare arms and hear the sound of neighborhood children squealing in the joy of their childhood days.

as i eat my lunch consisting of a cheeseburger with a thick slice of tomato and onion and a healthy squirt of mustard. i meditate on everything and everyone it took to bring this midday meal to my table and my tastebuds. the cow who sacrificed its life and the one who provided the milk for the cheese. the farmers who tended the cows and raised the wheat for the bread and the mustard, tomato and onion to adorn it, the meat, dairy and produce workers, the delivery people. no, i don't thank god personally, i simply become grateful and humble in thanking the plants, animals and people that graced my hungry belly with such tasty sustenance. i believe that simply thanking god without contemplation keeps us from being truly awake, truly grateful and truly humble in receiving the bounty. god does provide, but only through nature, life and the acts of ourselves and others. when we meditate on the details we become acutely aware and sincere in our gratitude and even a burger becomes sublime.

just my friday lunchtime thoughts. <3

there is a man

...one who studies me, noticing all my nuances, who explores me and falls at my feet worshipping me like i am holy.  there is a man who is not only unafraid of my feminine power, but who feeds on it and glories in it.  this is a man who seeks out my unleashed passion and sees it as a privilege to take me to the highest ecstasy, who knows intuitively how to make me shudder in bliss and takes pride in his ability to do so.  yes i've found a man who recognizes he is in the presence of the sublime as he submits before me to pay tribute to the goddess incarnate.  this is a man who is beyond the ordinary in the way he thinks, the way he responds, the way he is...a man who communes with my body, mind and soul to create magic and magnificence only the two of us can possibly know.

madness

she is magic and midnight lace

tossing
turning

tortured in the night by the yearning for her lover

she weaves dreams of seduction in her madness

as the fire burns relentlessly in her loins

she
 envisioning his presence

reaching out across the ether to touch her ghostly lover

inviting him to her bed 
her arms
casting her spell

seducing him with her hunger

honoring Nanaya

paying homage to Rati

becoming the goddess incarnate

dawn comes and she awakens
remembering the night

the visions

the passion

the pleasure

reaching for him across an empty bed

only to be left questioning what is real

smc
7-22-20

gumption and grace

i was once fierce and independent because i needed to be, had to be.  i was my own and on my own.  i chose to be different from the rest.  i wanted to be.

then came a time when that spirit in me was broken.  i became weak, dependent, afraid.  the light that had once burned as bright as july's sun now barely flickered.  (what you think is love is often not.)

but the time came i had to stand alone again.  i was forced to reclaim the woman i had been, to remember the one i was, free of control and compromise.

and now?  now i am comfortable in my independence.  i have fought hard, walked through fire, muck and mire, been broken by tragedy and loss on this journey to find this place and welcome this woman home.  yet there is an emptiness and when the night is long and the yearning is strong, i ask the heavens for the one who will complete me.

i still believe in the magic of love.

s.cooper

lessons learned

we make plans...the best of plans and yet we can never know for sure how things will turn out.  sometimes as expected but sometimes not.  the only way we'll ever know is to take that step forward.  eventually you will get to where you need to be even if there are detours and even if it's not where you expected to be.

here are just a few of the things i've learned in my years on this planet:

• we humans are extremely resilient 
• life's journey is a path to finding ourselves and discovering what really matters  
• if we pay attention, life often guides us with subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) signs
• if we don't decide what we want and what's best for us someone else will decide for us
• we all make "mistakes" but are they really mistakes?
• quiet your thoughts and trust your gut 
• change is inevitable and necessary
• not choosing is choosing
• the straightest path to self growth is followed by stepping into our fear
• you have to become your own savior because no one else is going to rescue you
• there comes a time when you have to choose what's best for you not necessarily what's best for everyone else
• material things don't matter much
• loss is inevitable
• you will survive
• keep the faith
• breathe deeply, exhale.  repeat as often as necessary and let that shit go
• life goes on
• love is the greatest healer, the greatest gift and in the end, all that really matters

how to make peace with yourself in one easy step

witch

A Witch by Edward Robert Hughes, 1902

in the past i have entertained the thought that i might be a bit crazy
but honestly i knew better

people have called me a witch, a bitch, eccentric
even radical at times
and yes, i have been and can be all those things

these definitions are limited but are all part of who i am
i am more
i am me
i am not trying to be anyone else

it does not make me crazy for knowing what i know
saying what i think
and feeling all i feel

i talk to the plants
rub fresh herbs between my fingers to breath the intensity of their aroma
and caress my lips with rose petals to feel their silken kiss

i make magic
with herbs and oils and crystals

i lay bare breasted under the sun
and dance naked under the moon

i hurt easily
and hide when i hurt
howling like a wounded animal into the ether

i love intensely
and only
only when i am loved
do i fly

7-7-2020

half isn't whole

the great balancer

we require intimacy, sexual expression and fulfillment in order to find grace amidst the chaos of life.  i believe it is a basic human need and having it fulfilled is necessary for our physical and emotional well being.  intimacy is the place we hold space for our vulnerability and our partner's vulnerability.  allowing ourselves and our partner to be vulnerable, expressive and free empowers both of us to face the challenges we confront daily.  if we have no intimacy, no safe place where we can revel in connection we are often left feeling cheated and struggling to function in a balanced way. 

thought

you cannot save a sinking ship.  the best you can do is jump and try to save yourself.