Steps

 I will stand naked in the rain and let it was away me clean.

I will smoke the sacred medicine daily to ease my burdens until I am well.

I will build crystal grids and work magic and healing.

When the leaves turn crimson I will put on my flannel and boots to walk the woods alone until dusk.

I will summon the courage to get in my car and drive to Missouri to sit on a bluff above the river to help clear my head.

I will find a way to make small, meaningless, mindless tasks more meaningful and mindful.

I will seek grace within myself and remind myself there is light inside me.

I will no longer seek love, justice, integrity or understanding outside myself for I've found this to be a fool's search.

I will not ask, beg or expect anything from anyone. I've found this to lead only to disappointment.

I will not bring anyone or anything into my life that isn't necessary only to fill me up or clutter my space.

I will adopt and integrate the Buddhist concept that all suffering comes from desire, that I may quell my desires and find peace, healing and wholeness.

When the snow flies and the nights are long and cold, I will bury myself under a blanket and in books and learning.

And maybe in Spring I will be a new me rising from the tattered remnants of the old me and I will have learned to love the aloneness and solitude.

Maybe then I will have become someone I can live with.

Sallie Royse Cooper

9-9-2020