the morning of april 24th, 2020 (approximately)
a full 8 hours of drug induced sleep. thank you dr. george. yet i do not feel as refreshed as i might from a summer's eve douche.
rain drips from the awning above the kitchen window.
another morning to ponder as i sip instant coffee and battle the cat for space at the kitchen table.
the last time i douched was after i compromised my integrity with a man i didn't love. it was an act of self-care...the douche that is.
"dear vagina, i am sorry i allowed someone who didn't value your sacredness to enter. it hasn't happened since and i promise it won't happen again. but you know that don't you?"
as i sit, i finally concede to the cat's persistence as she sprawls across my notebook, to indulge her and myself in a tactile experience.
outside the window the maple tree that lives next door has small green leaves beginning to fill it's previously barren branches. a train rumbles as it passes through town several blocks away.
i am hoping the wind dies down to allow a comfortable walk this morning.
the wind chimes outside my back door sing. i wonder if they annoy my neighbors. i don't care, i only wonder.
yesterday on my first walk of Spring i noticed all the alleyways i could traverse, which made my walk more interesting. one can walk down (or up, depending upon how one looks at it) a sidewalk and see how the neighborhood presents itself. but wandering through alleys offers a glimpse of what is behind the facade. instead of trimmed hedges and pretty flowers there are rusty gas grills, piles of rotting timber, and remnants of last years gardens.
it has been 7 weeks in isolation.
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