i want to be kind to myself,
to not get lost in the maze of confusion,
to do what's best and right for me.
to put the past behind me
and live more fully now.
i'm trying
but my mind is always fearful
of all the what ifs,
concerned with the future
and how that looks.
i want to step outside this fear,
to experience and trust
each moment as t comes.
i want to be free.
i want to follow my heart
and stop worrying and wondering
what all or any of it means,
to stop limiting myself,
to step out of this quagmire of confusion
and walk on solid ground,
but nothing is ever certain, is it?
no, nothing is ever certain.
there are no promises,
no guarantees,
no tomorrows,
there is only now.
i should know this well by now.
it seems the only time
i feel present,
the only time i am truly in my heart space,
the only time i am truly happy
is when i love
and know i'm loved
in the presence of the one i love.
without love
i am lost.
this is what my heart tells me,
what my heart cries out for;
to love and be loved.
when i ask my heart,
what do i want?
what is the purpose of it all?
what makes me feel alive?
what completes me?
it answers,
"love, only love".
12/3/2019
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