be your destiny

whatever it may be.  

be selfish enough to live life for you.

-sc-

rumi quote

Night Tears by Oriah

this seems to resonate with me today as i sit at my desk, grieving my daughter's pain, feeling my own in knowing what's to eventually come.  i wish to run, escape from what i feel, but that isn't possible.  the best i can do is feel what i feel and accept that life is unfair much of the time.  life wounds us and we may never heal completely.  maybe we aren't meant to because those wounds are what can open our heart, or for that matter close it.  we get to choose.  whether consciously or not, i have chosen to allow it to open mine.  therein lay the gift amidst the pain. my heart breaks open and love spills out.  - sc

There is a crying
that happens at night
that does not come
while the light is with us.
There are things that cannot
be evaded
once the sun goes down.
Small nocturnal creatures
with sharp white teeth
silently gnaw at the edges of
belly and heart
when the darkness descends
and the void inside
grows larger.

It can split you open.

And the bone
in the centre of your chest
aches
like the cracked wishing bone
from the turkey breast.

And if we are strong enough
to be weak enough
we are given a wound
that never heals.

It is the gift
that keeps the heart open.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer © 1995

love & magic

in this often dark world

intention

I want to live my life as a prayer 

and a ritual 

weaving reverence 

into every day 

of this human experience.

-smc-

jan. 4th, 2020

change (saturday morning thoughts)

change - it's what life is about.  we grow, we change, we evolve.  our hopes, desires, and dreams change.  our needs change.  we make choices.  we are always on a path of change and discovery.  if we ignore it, if we refuse to change or accommodate our needs, we stagnate.  we often force ourselves to stay in situations that are not healthy for us or others, out of obligation, insecurity or fear.  if we fear change then we are stuck, always accepting less than we'd like or we need, constantly battling within ourselves.   life is change.  being able to embrace change and see where it takes you is living. 

Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone. Billy Cox

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Socrates 

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right. Tony Robbins

change

nothing is going to change unless i make it so

Wishes

Someone wishes to kiss you

hold you

and make tea for you.

Someone wishes to sit with you

listening to your stories

until night becomes morning.

Someone wishes to lay with you

under the stars

on a midsummer's night.

Someone wishes to wake

early in the morning

just to make love with you.

Someone wishes to believe

in the possibilities

of loving you.

12-25-2019

the struggle

the invitation

one of my favorites:

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming
from the book The Invitation

she is woman

she is made of earth and sky

and though she may appear weak at times

one should never mistake her softness for weakness

she has been forged in fire

beaten and molded by the harshness of life

yet she has not lost her softness

instead 

those very things which have broken her heart 

and damaged her

have laid her wipe open

to a depth of love and compassion

she could not have known otherwise

though she has scars

she is not broken

she has grown from a girl

into a woman who knows herself

and revels in her feminine nature

no, do not mistake her softness

her kindness, her compassion

or her vulnerability for weakness

her nature is dualistic

she is grounded to the earth 

yet cycles with the moon

bleeding without injury

she is magic

she is the life giver

the nurturer

the maiden

the mother

the wise crone

no, do not take her lightly

she is stronger than you know

(c)s.cooper

12-19-19